Monday, August 15


I don't have anything for you today.  There is good news coming tomorrow, and the 31st, but not today.

I was writing when I heard a sound from another apartment.  The happy song of a Zojirushi rice maker.  And I started to cry.  Not big, embarrassing crying, thank god, because I was in the courtyard, basically in public, but little, painful, vicious tears I couldn't control.  I want it back, my life.  I want it more than I want food or drink or love or shade on a hot day.  I'm homesick for a place that wasn't really my home, couldn't be, really.  I don't know how to get back there and it breaks my fucking heart.

Please forgive my lapse.